Inventing a Drink in Chile

Crossing the border at the desolate exit from the Avaroa Natural Reserve, we found a line of about 100 freezing tourists (the temperatures were well below freezing up here at over 14,000 feet, even though it was summertime in the Southern Hemisphere) and 20 Chilean buses.  You see, before leaving, you have to pay a small fee to the Bolivians (30 Bolivianos, or $5) and then you have to board a separate Chilean vehicle to take you onwards.  Our tour company had arranged for the Chilean transfer, found him for us, and then we were on our way.

Crossing into Chile, the earthen road immediately becomes a beautiful black pavement and you start your descent.  In 40 minutes, you are in the oasis town of San Pedro de Atacama, at about 8,000 feet, and about 80 degrees Fahrenheit.  Stumbling into our resort, the Tierra Atacama, Kathleen and I must have seemed like refugees.  We were wearing several unnecessary layers of clothing, and my suitcase had been killed along the way in Bolivia (both the wheels and the pull out handle were kaput) and I was just dragging its lifeless body behind me.

At Tierra Atacama, though, we were treated to another excellent level of service, fantastic meals, and excursions to local natural features (volcanoes, geysers, canyons, petroglyphs, etc.).  Our favorite, however, was horseback riding.

One of the vistas in the Atacama Desert, the driest place on earth.

This blog, though, is for me to tell stories of adventures and other forms of craziness.  I am sorry, but Chile failed you.  There was no craziness.  Just a wonderful, relaxing time.  The best story I have is about a drink I almost invented.  I was coming back from one of the excursions and decided I would like a ginger ale to calm my stomach, but I would also like pineapple juice, because I like pineapple juice.  So I sidled up to the free bar (the resort is all-inclusive), and said I wanted a drink that was 50% ginger ale and 50% pineapple juice.

Kathleen asked the bartender if anyone had ever ordered such a drink before.  He said no.  I said that if Arnold Palmer could stake his name to a 50/50 lemonade/ice tea, then the 50/50 ginger ale/pineapple juice would henceforth be known as the "Pete."  That evening, I added a shot of rum to the Pete (which probably would have been better if it were half a shot).

A meal at the Tierra.  There's a little left of my namesake drink in the frosted glass at the upper right.

Using Google, however, I found that someone had already invented the same drink.  Oh well.  Through the remainder of the stay, I continued to order the "Pete," and if you find yourself at the Tierra Atacama yourself, I encourage you to ask Tomas at the bar for a "Pete."

Once Kathleen and I calculated how much it would cost to move into the Tierra Atacama full-time, we realized we needed to go back to work, and reluctantly left after 3 nights for 1 night in Santiago (an impressive modern city with A+ infrastructure), and then back home to Chicago.  Now, if I can just find some pineapple juice here.

The Pete
6 ounces, ginger ale
6 ounces, pineapple juice
1/2 half shot of rum, optional

Honeymooning in Bolivia

I will grant you that Bolivia is not a typical honeymoon destination.  We wanted to go to Machu Picchu and we wanted to visit the Atacama Desert in northern Chile (# 2 on the New York Times' list of places to go in 2017), and guess what is right in the middle?  And when we saw photos of the Uyuni Salt Flats, we had to stop by.  As it turned out, Bolivia is so photogenic, we took far more photos in that country than we did in the other two.

I did not have great expectations for La Paz.  We only stayed one night, but were favorably impressed.  There is a new cable car ("Teleferico") system that connects the various neighborhoods.  It gives the visitor the equivalent of an amusement park ride over the city for just 50 US cents.

And we had dinner at Gustu, reputedly one of the best restaurants in South America, started by a Danish chef who is a 4-time restaurant of the year (worldwide) award winner back home in Copenhagen.  It is like dining at Alinea in Chicago for a fraction of the price.  In fact, everything was inexpensive in Bolivia, but once you are outside of the cities, be sure to have cash, because a lot of small stores do not take credit cards.

Llama fetus, anyone?

The old ways are not completely gone in La Paz.  We visited the Witches' Market and saw the llama fetuses for sale (apparently for use in potions).  We only saw one vendor with the fetuses, however, so perhaps the market for potion ingredients is drying up.

Then, it was on to Uyuni.  Our flights (both into La Paz and into Uyuni) were completely made up of tourists.  I doubt there were any Bolivians on either flight.  Now, Uyuni is a dusty town.  It is definitely not a typical honeymoon destination.  And, I have to admit, after nearly having my bank card swallowed by an ATM (and on a Sunday when I could get no one to help me), before prying it back into my possession, I was a little dubious.

The main drag in Uyuni.  Not Honeymoon Central, I think.  There's still a bit of the Wild West here.  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid spent their last days in a similar town just down the road.

But then it was on with a great tour group to the salt flats, and in the following days, the Avaroa Natural Reserve.  There are photo ops everywhere, particularly on the salt flats.  Beware that accommodations are sparse, particularly in the Reserve, where we stayed in a hostel for one night without an electrical outlet (or lock) in our room and with shared bathrooms that were, let's say, below standard.  But when you can get photos like these, you will still have the time of your lives:

Just How Many Copies Do You Need? (a Bolivian border story)

There's a lot of conflicting information on the internet about whether Americans need to obtain a visa to enter Bolivia prior to arrival.  When I was planning this trip 6 months ago, it appeared that Americans could obtain their visas at the La Paz airport for $160 each.  A little pricey, but OK.

One week before departure, I saw that someone on a TripAdvisor forum had been informed by the Bolivian embassy in the US that this was no longer an option.  In fact, by this point, Bolivia was listing the good ol' US of A in the same category as North Korea and Afghanistan for visa requirements.  In fairness to them, I am sure our authorities require a lot of paperwork from Bolivians looking to enter the US, but this categorization (potentially a result of presidential politics) seemed a bit much.  Unfortunately, by this point, if the information on the internet was even true, I could no longer send in our passports to the Bolivian embassy in D.C. and get them back in time.  Fortunately, we had a free day coming up in Cusco, Peru, which happens to host a Bolivian consulate of its own.  So we decided to play it safe and try to get the visas before we arrived in Bolivia.

A few days before departure, I submitted all the necessary paperwork online at the Bolivian embassy's website (itinerary information, photos, financial information to prove we are solvent).  On our free day in Cusco, we contracted for a driver to take us from our hotel to the Bolivian consulate, wait for us, and take us back.  And then, hilarity ensued.

We arrived to find about 12-15 people, mostly tourists from China and Korea, in front of us.  It would take about 1 hour for us to get to the front of the line as the lone consular official worked his way through everyone's paperwork.  Meanwhile, I told our driver to feel free to pick up another fare and come back for us, which he did.

When we made it to the front of the line, the official immediately said that Kathleen's passport photo was not sufficiently front-facing (for the record, we disagree) and she would need a new photo.  Turning to the paperwork, I helpfully handed him a paper copy of everything I had submitted online, which he examined and noted approvingly.  Then he asked me, "Where is her copy?"  I said, her information is the same as mine, and it was all submitted online, so my copy was her copy.  Looking directly past the photocopier he had in front of him, he instructed us to go to a copy shop and get another paper copy that could be submitted with Kathleen's application.  As I processed this instruction, he also said something about paying the $320 for the two of us.  As I had the cash with me, I did not pay that much attention.

There are not exactly Kinko's on every corner in Cusco, but our driver took us to a little rundown tienda that charged 10 Peruvian cents (3 American cents) per copy and we returned to the consulate to see another 10-15 people in front of us.  The official motioned to move us ahead of most of the people and we waited for a group of Chinese tourists immediately in front of us.  There was something wrong with their application and he was telling them to re-do it and return in an hour.  At this point, one of the tourists was not taking "no" for an answer and peppered the official with questions.  After about 20 seconds of this, the official banged his hand on the table and started shouting at him "Ciao, bye-bye," and variants in several languages.  Great - we were up next!

I handed him the extra copies and then the $320 in cash, only for him to say, "No!  You were supposed to take that money to the bank."  I guess I had been so bothered by the whole extra-copy situation that I did not catch him tell me that earlier that morning.  So our driver took us to a branch of a bank where the Bolivian consulate had an account.  After about 45 minutes of line-waiting, we paid the teller our $320 and gave them the Bolivians' bank account number.  Then, back to the consulate again.

As we arrived for attempt # 3, the consular official was telling everyone that he had to go eat lunch and everyone should wait in line for an hour.  As he was walking out, I showed him our bank receipt and he said, "Oh, the Americans."  He ushered us back in, completely forgot about Kathleen's "inadequate" photo, and issued us visas.

A few days later, we got to the Cusco airport and I asked our airline gate agent if he thought Americans could still get visas on arrival at the La Paz airport.  He said we could.  You could then surmise that our 3 hours in bureaucratic limbo were a waste of time.  No - we would say we got a good story out of it.  (And I didn't see the visa-on-arrival desk at the La Paz airport anyway, though I wasn't really looking for it.)

Although this story was about our entry into Bolivia, this picture is of the desolate border crossing with Chile in the Avaroa Natural Reserve, from where we left Bolivia.

What We Have Here Is a Situation Where Six Lanes Are Merging into Two

I really like to drive, but I am very happy I was never behind the wheel during this trip.  The traffic we experienced in Peru and Bolivia was often chaotic and, particularly once we were out of the cities, there seemed to be no one enforcing any traffic laws or speed limits.

We had a bit of a taste of what was to come when, about 10 minutes after leaving the Lima airport, we suddenly experienced a traffic jam.  Kathleen asked our driver/guide what was going on and he memorably responded, "What we have here is a situation where six lanes are merging into two."  OK, that'll do it.

From Cusco, we took a tour on one day to see various sights in the Sacred Valley, and on another day, to Machu Picchu.  I don't think I have ever seen such aggressive tour bus drivers, nor have I ever spent that much time in a bus that was doing that much passing (sometimes without regard to the solid yellow line down the middle of the road).

Best of all, though, was what awaited us in La Paz.  On our way to the airport as we were leaving town, we encountered a traffic jam.  It appeared that there had either been an accident or a very close-call about 30 yards in front of us.  We could see a truck driver arguing with a van driver, when the truck driver exited his vehicle and knocked the van driver's mirror right off with his fist.  At this point, our taxi driver got out of our car and I assumed he was going to helpfully direct traffic.  Nope.  He decided to offer his own two cents on the situation to the already aggrieved drivers.  I was not too pleased with this turn of events.

Eventually, after exchanging some particularly choice words with the truck driver, he returned to our car and we slowly moved forward.  As we approached what had been the scene of the incident, I realized that there was traffic moving opposite us on our left and on our right.  I have never been in a car where I could see the lanes on both sides of us moving in the opposite direction.  I don't think that was how the La Paz traffic planners had drawn this up and can only assume we were going the wrong way, but then so was everyone else in our lane.  Very strange.

Some Things Are Still Worth Seeing in Person

Our honeymoon began in Peru.  Rather than sit out a 7-hour layover at the Lima airport, we hired a driver from Lima Cabs in advance to give us an informative tour of the city.  We began in the old part of Lima, where we walked around Plaza San Martin.  We missed the protests against the pardon of ex-president Fujimori and the police tear gas which occurred in the same space 2 days later.  As they say, timing is everything.  Then, it was on to the Plaza de Armas and seeing some saints' skulls in a nearby church before heading to the upscale part of town, Miraflores, watching the surfers in the Pacific, and then making our way back to the airport.

After a hilarious Benny Hill-esque situation where the Lima Airport changed our gate 3 times in about 10 minutes, leading to a long line of people running from gate to gate, only to reverse themselves and run in the opposite direction, we boarded our flight to the southern city of Arequipa, which has a beautiful Plaza de Armas.  From there, we boarded the Belmond Andean Explorer train for two nights on our way to Cusco.

One of the dining cars aboard the Belmond Andean Explorer.

The Belmond Andean Explorer provides a great experience, with absolutely phenomenal service, great meals, and some stops for excursions on land.  On the route from Arequipa to Cusco, the train is moving during the first night.  In Europe (where I have slept on trains overnight) or America, that might not be a problem, but these rails are rougher, and the motion made it very hard to sleep for many of the passengers.  And, as this was our first night dealing with the altitude, we both required extra oxygen, which is available in the cabins.  Thus, my recommendation would be to take the route from Cusco to Arequipa, where the train stops both nights.

In any event, we highly recommend the train.  And I learned a lesson that served me well on the trip.  By discretely mentioning to the staff that this was our honeymoon, we were gifted the first of three bottles of champagne over the two weeks.

On our first full day on the train, we stopped at Lake Titicaca and boarded a boat to see the strange world of the Uros Islands, which are man-made islands of reeds inhabited by the Uros people for centuries.  After explaining to us the very laborious and complicated process used to make these islands (which house about 5-10 huts each -- and about 2,700 people in total), I pulled our guide aside and asked a question I didn't feel comfortable asking the islanders for fear of offending anybody: "Uh, why don't they just live in town?"  Apparently, it's all about evading property taxes.

The Uros Islands.  There's a woman on a cellphone in the boat in the left background.

The islanders live a simple life and sell their weavings and ceramics to tourists.  The best salespeople are the small children, as it's very hard to turn them down, and we did indeed return with a little boy's drawing.  At one point, Kathleen turned to me and asked if I thought any of them even knew who Donald Trump was.  The answer is probably no, giving us reason to admire the simplicity of their lives.  As I found in Bhutan a few years ago, however, modernity, as it always does, is creeping in.  I noticed a local woman in a boat on a cellphone.

Once in Cusco, we visited the Sacred Valley, and, eventually, the holy grail of Peruvian tourism, Machu Picchu.  I had wondered whether, after seeing photos of it hundreds of times, Machu Picchu could still be worth it.  Had I already seen everything there was to see on other people's Facebook feeds, YouTube, and, I assume, an Anthony Bourdain travel show?  But yes, it still has the power to take our breath away, and we spent hours just wandering around on our own, admiring the location and the ingenuity of the people who built it.

You have probably seen a photo like this before.  The difference is, I took this one.